To each, it's own.

Day No.33 /Thursday

 I had to fight hard to deny what i was feeling. Some thing is off about us. It’s not like me to feel this way. Or rather thinking thru it. 

  Got this troubling feeling that you’re just not the right one for me. Maybe because I have expectations that even MR PERFECT fall short. Or simply cause I’m tired of being inferior. Every time the same shit. Like as if you don’t get it. Only one thing i dislike/despise and yet you keep doing it. After being told not to several times already. 

  I can’t have someone doing me like this. It’s so god-damned hard. I can’t be myself. I can’t let lose. Every time with you, I feel as though I have to hide the other side of me. It’s not fair. I need someone who can accept me for who I am whole-ly. 

  I’m 20 for goodness sake. I still want to have fun. How dare you stop me? Just cause you can’t, I can’t? Cause from what I recall, you said you’ll not stop me from doing what I want as long as I know my limits. Damn am I screwed?

  I can’t marry a man who controls me. Nor a man who I can’t be young and foolish with. I need a man who wants to party with me. Who will be there with me thru my growing years. No matter what it takes. It’s just not fair. Cause when you’re 20, you’re having the time of your life and when it’s me, you want to control what I can/cannot do.

  I’ve survived these long on my own accord. It doesn’t hurt another 10 more years. Please don’t go pushing my buttons. Cause soon enough I’ll break. And the outcome is never good.

Too close for comfort..

xx 

(Source: only-by-night, via eibbamoon)